5 Ways to Take Control of Your Life

Hey driven, achiever! This is for you.

If you’re like me, you might be living in secret suffering. Are you on-edge, angry, restless, bored? Do you resent others because you feel like you’re on your own, and every task is on you to accomplish? Do you feel responsible for everyone else’s feelings around you? Do you feel like you shouldn’t have to ask—the people closest to you should just know? Do you often sacrifice your own wants and needs for others?

If this is you, I get it! Many high achievers struggle with sacrifice programming. They sacrifice their own well being for success. They often feel that doing it all is easier than asking for help– at least it will be done right…am I right?

If this is you, here are 5 ways you can take control and have more fulfillment:

You don’t have to suffer to be successful!

1. Clarify what you DO want — Most people spend too much time worrying about what they don’t want. What you focus on expands. Ask yourself what you DO want and focus on that. {Hint: Even if you think they know, they don’t know what you want.}
2. Accept things (and people) for what/who they are — It doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it. Just accept it. You can’t control circumstances and you can’t control other people. When things feel out of control, we try to take back control by “fixing”, “micro-managing”, “procrastinating”, “avoiding” or other counter-productive behaviors. These anti-solutions create more suffering for us, and draws out the issue further, rather than actually solve the problem. Accept it, let it go, and come back when you are in a neutral state of emotion.
3. Set boundaries and standards — You can’t control people, but you can set boundaries and expectations. “No” is a full sentence. Warning…you teach people how to treat you. So if you set a boundary and allow others to push it without consequence, you are teaching them your expectations are flexible.
4. When you say “Yes,” mean it — When you agree to commitments and make exchanges with others, be intentional with your “Yes”. Life is always better when you feel good about your decisions, and when your agreements come from integrity and not obligation.
5. Be “at cause” — This does not mean accepting blame for your circumstances, it means taking responsibility for the role you played in the outcome you got. When you learn to be at cause, you shift out of victim mindset and become empowered to create your own reality. You are in control of your life. This one is extremely freeing the longer you practice it!

If you’re still with me, thank you! Shifting your mindset and behaviors takes practice. At the very least, I hope you will become aware of your thoughts and your behaviors. If you do, that’s a great start!

My goal is to help you become more fulfilled in work and in life. If this resonated with you, drop me a comment or hop into my inbox and introduce yourself.